Welcome to Our House - The Analogy ©

Having a baby is special. For some, it’s a lifelong dream, for others, a wonderful surprise. Either way, many of us have thought about taking this journey and whether it’s planned or a pleasant surprise, we all have preconceived ideas about what our child will look and be like. But what if it isn’t what we planned or expected? This is a short story I have written for parents who have or are expecting an exceptionally special child.

Welcome to our House – An analogy

After many months of dreaming, you finally decide it’s time. You are going to build that perfect house of your dreams. You have saved and saved, and now it’s time to put your plan into action. You find a wonderful, perfect piece of land in the city. It’s exactly what you are looking for – because it’s the plan that everyone talks about. You envision the all brick house sitting on luscious green grass, surrounded by a white picket fence. Inside is a marble foyer leading into a family room with beautiful oak hardwood floors. Granite lines the kitchen counter tops and there is an island sink in the middle. Upstairs has four perfect bedrooms and the master bedroom has an ensuite bathroom and an enormous walk-in closet, of course. It’s truly a dream come true, and it’s only a matter of time. You purchase the land and think to yourself, in nine short months, you will have it all.

But suddenly your agent calls to tell you, the land is not properly zoned, and the city has not approved it for building your perfect home. They have instead, given you land in the country, where an old country home sits. You are absolutely devastated, your dreams vanishing right before your eyes. You know you can’t back out now, you need a place to live, and despite it not being what you wanted, you know that somehow you will manage and that you can continue on.

You tell everyone what has happened, and everyone is disappointed, some even offering their condolences. You know that everyone else has a nice city home, and that was what you had planned, but you have to come to terms with the fact that you must learn to live in the country.

You go to see the property every month until closing and something funny happens. You start to fall in love with the place. The air is fresh, it’s peaceful and serene. There’s a pond on the land, and the house, though not a new all brick home, is quaint, and has lots of hidden potential. You soon realize it’s not a awful place, it’s just a different place. It’s slower paced than the city, less noisy and flamboyant, but it’s beautiful none the less. And in the process, you soon realize you may even get to meet some new and wonderful neighbours.

Its closing day and you suddenly find yourself full of anticipation, but you are still a little worried. After all, it isn’t what you had originally hoped for, and the house may need some repairs. But you are determined to accept it, and tackle everything one step at a time. You open the front door, and suddenly you are thrilled with what you see. The house is lovely, and has lots of character. The rooms are smaller but it’s decorated with beautiful attention and detail. The kitchen has marble instead of granite, and the bathroom has a soaker tub instead of a Jacuzzi. There isn’t a walk-in closet in sight, but the rooms all come with an indescribable view. Somehow, you just know that it was always meant to be and that this is now home.

This is my analogy of what it will be like for people who discover that they will be caring for a baby with Down syndrome. For us, it is not a terrible place to be, it is a journey full of surprises, milestones and discovery like any other child. And as the story suggests, sometimes it’s only a matter of ‘point of view’, and surprisingly, once you have been there, you don’t want to be anywhere else. The journey, like all others doesn’t come without some bumps in the road, but once you find your way, it’s all about the place you discovered, in most cases - quite by random chance
Author: Sandi Graham-McWade, Copyright

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Monday, April 26, 2010

My Journal - Week 36 (26Apr10)


It was 1:26 am and I thought to myself, I know I am only 11 days past ovulation, and for those of you who know anything about fertility tracking, it's usually too early to test for pregnancy.  But I am what they call, a POAS - aholic.  (Pee-On-A-Stick).  This label is saved for those who use pregnancy tests, and ovulation predictor kits like they are going out of style.  It's also a set up for disappointment because logically, you should not test until you miss your period (or about 5 days at the earliest before that time).  14 days past ovulation is usually a safe time to test.  I just couldn't help myself though.

Not thinking much other than, I know this one is going to be a waste of a pregnancy test, but I can always hope for the best, I "peed on the stick".  Something was nagging at me though, that made me want to do it.  It was the strange way this month had worked out for me in terms of fertility investigation, planning and tracking.  Earlier this month, I was told by the doctor and technician performing my repeat HSG (tube blockage test) that my tubes were not actually blocked.  My ovulation predictor kits said I was ovulating for five plus days!  (Now that is just plain crazy.)  I even took a pregnancy test on the sixth day, just to prove to myself that I wasn't in fact actually pregnant and causing the incredible amount of positive ovulation sticks.  (That test did turn out to be negative.)  I had a blood test done earlier in the month, also to confirm that I started this month off "NOT PREGNANT".  This was a requirement so that I could get the HSG test done.  They will not perform the HSG if there is any chance you are pregnant.  So, needless to say, it has been a strange month of events.

Monday morning, 10:00 am - we have a follow-up fertility appointment which was for us to find out what the ultrasound doctor and technician told us a few weeks back.  Officially, we find out that my tubes are not blocked at this appointment.  But, as I said - we already know that.  It's just a technicality though.  How ironic do you think that this follow-up appointment would be if I tell our fertility doctor, some news....

The result of the pregnancy test at 1:26 am???  A BFP - for those non fertility types that means "A BIG FAT POSITIVE"  WE ARE PREGNANT!!!

 [Can you see the line on the left?  Yep, that means positive!]

I can not contain myself.  After all this time, after all the bumps in the road, after all the weird and crazy issues we were facing and were told - I have to share this news with everyone.  Please share in our joy.  I will not make anyone wait 12 weeks to say the words - "I am pregnant".  The calculators say I am 3 weeks and 3 days pregnant and I am told that the expected due date is the 7th January 2011. 

John and I couldn't be happier, and also relieved.  Hunter, will be getting his sibling after all.  The next step in our journey starts here....


  1. Congratulations Sandi and John

    I want to feel that this is the girl.

    You both should start going to church cause this is God's doing. To Him be the glory. Each child is a miracle and gift from God.

    Take care and God bless

  2. Congrats!!!! Woo hoo!!! Made my day!

  3. Found your blog through DS New Mama. Congrats on the new pregnancy!

  4. Hi Sandi:

    Congrats to you, John and Hunter!!!! Hunter and his sibling will be just over a year apart - a good space between them.

    All the best.

  5. Congratulations! Now comes the next hurdle. Will you test for Down syndrome? My first child was Downs. I was requested to take a test but I refused. The doctors were upset with me and at time of delivery had an extra paediatrician present. Both later births were not Downs.Today I write about my Buddy.


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