Welcome to Our House - The Analogy ©

Having a baby is special. For some, it’s a lifelong dream, for others, a wonderful surprise. Either way, many of us have thought about taking this journey and whether it’s planned or a pleasant surprise, we all have preconceived ideas about what our child will look and be like. But what if it isn’t what we planned or expected? This is a short story I have written for parents who have or are expecting an exceptionally special child.

Welcome to our House – An analogy

After many months of dreaming, you finally decide it’s time. You are going to build that perfect house of your dreams. You have saved and saved, and now it’s time to put your plan into action. You find a wonderful, perfect piece of land in the city. It’s exactly what you are looking for – because it’s the plan that everyone talks about. You envision the all brick house sitting on luscious green grass, surrounded by a white picket fence. Inside is a marble foyer leading into a family room with beautiful oak hardwood floors. Granite lines the kitchen counter tops and there is an island sink in the middle. Upstairs has four perfect bedrooms and the master bedroom has an ensuite bathroom and an enormous walk-in closet, of course. It’s truly a dream come true, and it’s only a matter of time. You purchase the land and think to yourself, in nine short months, you will have it all.

But suddenly your agent calls to tell you, the land is not properly zoned, and the city has not approved it for building your perfect home. They have instead, given you land in the country, where an old country home sits. You are absolutely devastated, your dreams vanishing right before your eyes. You know you can’t back out now, you need a place to live, and despite it not being what you wanted, you know that somehow you will manage and that you can continue on.

You tell everyone what has happened, and everyone is disappointed, some even offering their condolences. You know that everyone else has a nice city home, and that was what you had planned, but you have to come to terms with the fact that you must learn to live in the country.

You go to see the property every month until closing and something funny happens. You start to fall in love with the place. The air is fresh, it’s peaceful and serene. There’s a pond on the land, and the house, though not a new all brick home, is quaint, and has lots of hidden potential. You soon realize it’s not a awful place, it’s just a different place. It’s slower paced than the city, less noisy and flamboyant, but it’s beautiful none the less. And in the process, you soon realize you may even get to meet some new and wonderful neighbours.

Its closing day and you suddenly find yourself full of anticipation, but you are still a little worried. After all, it isn’t what you had originally hoped for, and the house may need some repairs. But you are determined to accept it, and tackle everything one step at a time. You open the front door, and suddenly you are thrilled with what you see. The house is lovely, and has lots of character. The rooms are smaller but it’s decorated with beautiful attention and detail. The kitchen has marble instead of granite, and the bathroom has a soaker tub instead of a Jacuzzi. There isn’t a walk-in closet in sight, but the rooms all come with an indescribable view. Somehow, you just know that it was always meant to be and that this is now home.

This is my analogy of what it will be like for people who discover that they will be caring for a baby with Down syndrome. For us, it is not a terrible place to be, it is a journey full of surprises, milestones and discovery like any other child. And as the story suggests, sometimes it’s only a matter of ‘point of view’, and surprisingly, once you have been there, you don’t want to be anywhere else. The journey, like all others doesn’t come without some bumps in the road, but once you find your way, it’s all about the place you discovered, in most cases - quite by random chance
Author: Sandi Graham-McWade, Copyright
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Thursday, April 1, 2010

My Journal - Week 32 (01Apr10) Evening

Can I have the results please....
(Continuation from the last post)

I wish I had better news to report.  Unfortunately it is a BFN (Big Fat Negative).  And No, I can't say it's an April Fools Day joke.  I wish it were.  I suppose I could hang on to some optimism, and think to myself, it is still too early to test.  When we were pregnant with Hunter, my first blood test actually came back negative, and it was after we had conceived at the time the blood test had been taken.  So from personal experience, it is possible.  I am not holding my breath, but I always say, I am an optimist.

I have to say, this is a really stressful experience.  I am not used to not being able to get what I want.  I do have to remember that this is out of my control.  It is something I can not change.  But knowing that certainly doesn't make it any easier.  I know that in order to move forward, we will have to continue with the testing to verify the tubal blockage.  Once that is done, the doctor will discuss our options for In-vitro etc.  I will continue to do my personal investigations on other possible treatments.  I just wish that despite all of this, I was able to give Hunter a sibling close in age.  I feel as though I am letting him down.

Also, I hope that my pituitary tumour has not grown any larger which can cause other health problems besides infertility.  I have been scheduled by my new Endocrinologist for a follow-up MRI as soon as possible.  At least this new doctor I am seeing has been really nice and helpful with respect to educating me further about this adenoma.  My last endocrinologist was literally 87 years old, and needed to retire.  He was so forgetful and I think this was the reason no follow-up(s) were done with me regarding this tumour.  While originally he was a good doctor, I think he should have retired a long time ago - at least 15 years ago....  My life is not arbitrary, and should not have been forgotten about just because he was unwilling to retire due to feelings of age and dignity.

I will keep everyone posted as we learn more.

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