Welcome to Our House - The Analogy ©

Having a baby is special. For some, it’s a lifelong dream, for others, a wonderful surprise. Either way, many of us have thought about taking this journey and whether it’s planned or a pleasant surprise, we all have preconceived ideas about what our child will look and be like. But what if it isn’t what we planned or expected? This is a short story I have written for parents who have or are expecting an exceptionally special child.

Welcome to our House – An analogy

After many months of dreaming, you finally decide it’s time. You are going to build that perfect house of your dreams. You have saved and saved, and now it’s time to put your plan into action. You find a wonderful, perfect piece of land in the city. It’s exactly what you are looking for – because it’s the plan that everyone talks about. You envision the all brick house sitting on luscious green grass, surrounded by a white picket fence. Inside is a marble foyer leading into a family room with beautiful oak hardwood floors. Granite lines the kitchen counter tops and there is an island sink in the middle. Upstairs has four perfect bedrooms and the master bedroom has an ensuite bathroom and an enormous walk-in closet, of course. It’s truly a dream come true, and it’s only a matter of time. You purchase the land and think to yourself, in nine short months, you will have it all.

But suddenly your agent calls to tell you, the land is not properly zoned, and the city has not approved it for building your perfect home. They have instead, given you land in the country, where an old country home sits. You are absolutely devastated, your dreams vanishing right before your eyes. You know you can’t back out now, you need a place to live, and despite it not being what you wanted, you know that somehow you will manage and that you can continue on.

You tell everyone what has happened, and everyone is disappointed, some even offering their condolences. You know that everyone else has a nice city home, and that was what you had planned, but you have to come to terms with the fact that you must learn to live in the country.

You go to see the property every month until closing and something funny happens. You start to fall in love with the place. The air is fresh, it’s peaceful and serene. There’s a pond on the land, and the house, though not a new all brick home, is quaint, and has lots of hidden potential. You soon realize it’s not a awful place, it’s just a different place. It’s slower paced than the city, less noisy and flamboyant, but it’s beautiful none the less. And in the process, you soon realize you may even get to meet some new and wonderful neighbours.

Its closing day and you suddenly find yourself full of anticipation, but you are still a little worried. After all, it isn’t what you had originally hoped for, and the house may need some repairs. But you are determined to accept it, and tackle everything one step at a time. You open the front door, and suddenly you are thrilled with what you see. The house is lovely, and has lots of character. The rooms are smaller but it’s decorated with beautiful attention and detail. The kitchen has marble instead of granite, and the bathroom has a soaker tub instead of a Jacuzzi. There isn’t a walk-in closet in sight, but the rooms all come with an indescribable view. Somehow, you just know that it was always meant to be and that this is now home.

This is my analogy of what it will be like for people who discover that they will be caring for a baby with Down syndrome. For us, it is not a terrible place to be, it is a journey full of surprises, milestones and discovery like any other child. And as the story suggests, sometimes it’s only a matter of ‘point of view’, and surprisingly, once you have been there, you don’t want to be anywhere else. The journey, like all others doesn’t come without some bumps in the road, but once you find your way, it’s all about the place you discovered, in most cases - quite by random chance
Author: Sandi Graham-McWade, Copyright

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Monday, April 12, 2010

My Journal - Week 34 (12Apr10)

My follow-up test....

Today I had a follow-up or re-test fertility test.  Last month I had the HSG (Hysterosalpingogram).  This test checks ultimately to see if my fallopian tubes are open and not blocked with scar tissue or infection.  Last time I had the test I was told that I had tubal blockage on both sides.  I had written that I was obviously devestated because our only course of action after having that kind of diagnosis is/was In-Vitro Fertilization (IVF).  I also wrote that my fertility doctor said that 50% of the time the results are wrong, and therefore he wanted to re-test me on those grounds.  While I remained optimistic, I was definitely feeling somewhat devestated. 

Today I waited patiently to hear what the doctor had to say while he performed my test, or re-test I should say.  I didn't expect that he was going to give me the results immediately, as it is clearly posted on the walls in the ultrasound clinic that the doctor and technician are not supposed to disclose the results of your test.  But I was hoping maybe he might say something positive or encouraging.  But incredibly he told me that my tubes looked "beautiful and completely open".  No mistaking that diagnosis right?  I should hope not.  But, I asked anyway.  "Are you sure, my tubes are open and not blocked?"  "Correct." he said.  I went on to ask, how or why this could happen and what would make them blocked before and not blocked now.  He explained to me that my tubes were probably not blocked last time, that they were likely in spasm, only looking or showing as if they were blocked.  Whatever the reason, as you can well imagine, I was now absolutely ecstatic, and overjoyed.  What a relief - John and I do not have to think about IVF for now, and hopefully the stress of infertility will just end up being a distant memory.  Maybe now we can focus on trying, without having to think that absolutely nothing will happen. 

I guess remaining optimistic paid off in the end.  I just hope things do not change again for the worse.  I don't think I can take any other bad news!  So, we are back to trying....  ;)  Wish us luck!


  1. Let me know when and where to meet you for our meeting. "aka - trying" hint, hint, wink, wink. Don't forget you Advil to relax and you wont get a headache afterwords.

  2. That's GREAT news Sandi!! SSBD to you!!!


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