Welcome to Our House - The Analogy ©

Having a baby is special. For some, it’s a lifelong dream, for others, a wonderful surprise. Either way, many of us have thought about taking this journey and whether it’s planned or a pleasant surprise, we all have preconceived ideas about what our child will look and be like. But what if it isn’t what we planned or expected? This is a short story I have written for parents who have or are expecting an exceptionally special child.

Welcome to our House – An analogy

After many months of dreaming, you finally decide it’s time. You are going to build that perfect house of your dreams. You have saved and saved, and now it’s time to put your plan into action. You find a wonderful, perfect piece of land in the city. It’s exactly what you are looking for – because it’s the plan that everyone talks about. You envision the all brick house sitting on luscious green grass, surrounded by a white picket fence. Inside is a marble foyer leading into a family room with beautiful oak hardwood floors. Granite lines the kitchen counter tops and there is an island sink in the middle. Upstairs has four perfect bedrooms and the master bedroom has an ensuite bathroom and an enormous walk-in closet, of course. It’s truly a dream come true, and it’s only a matter of time. You purchase the land and think to yourself, in nine short months, you will have it all.

But suddenly your agent calls to tell you, the land is not properly zoned, and the city has not approved it for building your perfect home. They have instead, given you land in the country, where an old country home sits. You are absolutely devastated, your dreams vanishing right before your eyes. You know you can’t back out now, you need a place to live, and despite it not being what you wanted, you know that somehow you will manage and that you can continue on.

You tell everyone what has happened, and everyone is disappointed, some even offering their condolences. You know that everyone else has a nice city home, and that was what you had planned, but you have to come to terms with the fact that you must learn to live in the country.

You go to see the property every month until closing and something funny happens. You start to fall in love with the place. The air is fresh, it’s peaceful and serene. There’s a pond on the land, and the house, though not a new all brick home, is quaint, and has lots of hidden potential. You soon realize it’s not a awful place, it’s just a different place. It’s slower paced than the city, less noisy and flamboyant, but it’s beautiful none the less. And in the process, you soon realize you may even get to meet some new and wonderful neighbours.

Its closing day and you suddenly find yourself full of anticipation, but you are still a little worried. After all, it isn’t what you had originally hoped for, and the house may need some repairs. But you are determined to accept it, and tackle everything one step at a time. You open the front door, and suddenly you are thrilled with what you see. The house is lovely, and has lots of character. The rooms are smaller but it’s decorated with beautiful attention and detail. The kitchen has marble instead of granite, and the bathroom has a soaker tub instead of a Jacuzzi. There isn’t a walk-in closet in sight, but the rooms all come with an indescribable view. Somehow, you just know that it was always meant to be and that this is now home.

This is my analogy of what it will be like for people who discover that they will be caring for a baby with Down syndrome. For us, it is not a terrible place to be, it is a journey full of surprises, milestones and discovery like any other child. And as the story suggests, sometimes it’s only a matter of ‘point of view’, and surprisingly, once you have been there, you don’t want to be anywhere else. The journey, like all others doesn’t come without some bumps in the road, but once you find your way, it’s all about the place you discovered, in most cases - quite by random chance
Author: Sandi Graham-McWade, Copyright

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Friday, April 9, 2010

My Journal - Week 33 (09Apr10)

Wonderful Milestones happen when you least expect them to!

Yesterday Hunter had his E.I. appointment with Jenn, and we found out that he is still on track developmentally, and in range for his sitting, playing and speaking skills.  Jenn tells us that he is still within the "typical" infant development range which we were so very pleased to hear.  When we told Jenn about Hunter's newest task of sorting his toys and placing them into his bucket, she told us that the sorting skill is a 12 month developmental skill.  We were floored!  We just thought that it was something that Hunter had figured out how to do, and was having fun doing it!  Well, the fact that he chooses to sort his toys into his bucket, and acknowledges which side the bucket is on, specifically dropping toys into it despite what side it's on, was a specific skill.  Interesting.

Then something extra neat happened about an hour ago....

[Look Mamma, You don't have to hold it anymore!]

[Darn, I wonder how long she would have kept doing it for me?]

Here's the thing... I never gave him the bottle to hold by himself before tonight.  He's been holding onto my hand for the last few weeks, patting at the bottle himself, and also saying "Baw Baw..." specifically when he wants milk.  He has a ritual of things he does when he wants his milk.  First he starts out by saying "Mumm, Mummm, Mumma..." to obviously get my attention.  Then when we warm up the milk, he changes to "Baw Baw..."  I think this has happened because when we warm up the milk, we have been trying to pacify him by saying "the bottle is coming... and or milky is coming..."  I suppose I should have tried to let him hold the bottle by himself before, but it just never occurred to me!  Once again, silly Mommy!  Now, the test is to see if he will continue to do it alone, or whether he just wants me to feed him, despite the fact he can do it all by himself.

So, on that note, I think I should also make a note of how in the mornings, when Hunter knows that Daddy will be taking him downstairs, if for some reason Daddy is still sleeping, Hunter (all the wiser) has learned to roll himself over to Daddy, pat Daddy on the arm and say "Dadda Dadda Dadda!"  All I can say about that is, it certainly isn't my fault!  Now Daddy can't be mad at me for getting him up!!  Ha ha!  And honestly, how can you be mad at that little smiling face, waiting and wanting to see you every morning???  So sweet.

I am so grateful to also report that Hunter now sleeps 11 hours straight, from the time he goes down at night, until wake up time.  Occasionally he will wake up and want a bottle, after about 8 hours or so, and that certainly is no problem.  It truly is nice these days to have 8 hours of straight sleep.  What a wonderful feeling.  Yes, it does happen.  Not that before this, it was a problem, Hunter always slept at least 5-8 hours straight since he was a few months old.  Now it's a lot longer, and everyone is a lot happier!

1 comment:

  1. Wow, that is incredible! The fact that he is correlating babbles with mom and dad is amazing! Way to go Hunter! Love the pictures!


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