Welcome to Our House - The Analogy ©

Having a baby is special. For some, it’s a lifelong dream, for others, a wonderful surprise. Either way, many of us have thought about taking this journey and whether it’s planned or a pleasant surprise, we all have preconceived ideas about what our child will look and be like. But what if it isn’t what we planned or expected? This is a short story I have written for parents who have or are expecting an exceptionally special child.

Welcome to our House – An analogy

After many months of dreaming, you finally decide it’s time. You are going to build that perfect house of your dreams. You have saved and saved, and now it’s time to put your plan into action. You find a wonderful, perfect piece of land in the city. It’s exactly what you are looking for – because it’s the plan that everyone talks about. You envision the all brick house sitting on luscious green grass, surrounded by a white picket fence. Inside is a marble foyer leading into a family room with beautiful oak hardwood floors. Granite lines the kitchen counter tops and there is an island sink in the middle. Upstairs has four perfect bedrooms and the master bedroom has an ensuite bathroom and an enormous walk-in closet, of course. It’s truly a dream come true, and it’s only a matter of time. You purchase the land and think to yourself, in nine short months, you will have it all.

But suddenly your agent calls to tell you, the land is not properly zoned, and the city has not approved it for building your perfect home. They have instead, given you land in the country, where an old country home sits. You are absolutely devastated, your dreams vanishing right before your eyes. You know you can’t back out now, you need a place to live, and despite it not being what you wanted, you know that somehow you will manage and that you can continue on.

You tell everyone what has happened, and everyone is disappointed, some even offering their condolences. You know that everyone else has a nice city home, and that was what you had planned, but you have to come to terms with the fact that you must learn to live in the country.

You go to see the property every month until closing and something funny happens. You start to fall in love with the place. The air is fresh, it’s peaceful and serene. There’s a pond on the land, and the house, though not a new all brick home, is quaint, and has lots of hidden potential. You soon realize it’s not a awful place, it’s just a different place. It’s slower paced than the city, less noisy and flamboyant, but it’s beautiful none the less. And in the process, you soon realize you may even get to meet some new and wonderful neighbours.

Its closing day and you suddenly find yourself full of anticipation, but you are still a little worried. After all, it isn’t what you had originally hoped for, and the house may need some repairs. But you are determined to accept it, and tackle everything one step at a time. You open the front door, and suddenly you are thrilled with what you see. The house is lovely, and has lots of character. The rooms are smaller but it’s decorated with beautiful attention and detail. The kitchen has marble instead of granite, and the bathroom has a soaker tub instead of a Jacuzzi. There isn’t a walk-in closet in sight, but the rooms all come with an indescribable view. Somehow, you just know that it was always meant to be and that this is now home.

This is my analogy of what it will be like for people who discover that they will be caring for a baby with Down syndrome. For us, it is not a terrible place to be, it is a journey full of surprises, milestones and discovery like any other child. And as the story suggests, sometimes it’s only a matter of ‘point of view’, and surprisingly, once you have been there, you don’t want to be anywhere else. The journey, like all others doesn’t come without some bumps in the road, but once you find your way, it’s all about the place you discovered, in most cases - quite by random chance
Author: Sandi Graham-McWade, Copyright

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Thursday, July 1, 2010

My Journal - Week 45 (01Jul10)

Happy Canada Day!

It's one of the first times that Hunter has seen fireworks and actually enjoyed it!  Because our house backs onto a conservation area, many families put on fireworks back there for special occasions like tonight - Canada Day.  While the fireworks were loud, Hunter enjoyed them, smiling and watching the fancy colours shoot up into the air.  During the firework display, Hunter decided that he would eat a treat or two, his Gerber Wobbly Wheels.  Hunter is very capable of "self feeding" but rarely likes to demonstrate that he can do it by himself.  Tonight, I was able to catch him in the moment of feeding himself.  I tried to get a few pictures, but he ate the darn thing so fast  I could only manage to get one shot. 

[Quick Mommy, better take the picture - I am almost finished!]

I had a few other pictures that I forgot to add in from our trip to Sudbury on Monday.  While not the greatest trip, (since it was not for pleasure) I had taken a few quick shots of Hunter.

[(Waking up in Sudbury)] 
[I don't want to be here, I miss my new car seat!]

[Oh okay, it's not that bad... but can we go back home now?]

[Do you know what I am doing? I am eating Mommy's muffin!]

[Nahh those aren't crumbs on my chin, it's just your imagination!]

[Mommy, stop taking pictures and give me some more muffin!]

[Thank goodness, I get to sleep on the way home....]

Mommy note:
A tiny memorial to our lost angel who we named "Taylor".  A little note I wrote to our "angel" that will go into a memorial box I put together for Taylor.  It reads:

Would you know my name if I saw you in heaven? – Eric Clapton

You were made out of love, you will always be remembered the same way. You are our tiny angel, your brothers guardian angel and protector and will always be in our hearts.

We lost you before having the chance to meet you and hold you in our arms. But we will always hold onto the love we have for you.

Mommy & Daddy want you to know,
We miss you so very much, each and every day,
our tiny angel – Taylor Graham McWade

And to our Taylor I dedicate this song:

And one last picture that was important for me to add:

[My Mommy loves me very much, and I love her and her necklace!]

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