Welcome to Our House - The Analogy ©

Having a baby is special. For some, it’s a lifelong dream, for others, a wonderful surprise. Either way, many of us have thought about taking this journey and whether it’s planned or a pleasant surprise, we all have preconceived ideas about what our child will look and be like. But what if it isn’t what we planned or expected? This is a short story I have written for parents who have or are expecting an exceptionally special child.

Welcome to our House – An analogy

After many months of dreaming, you finally decide it’s time. You are going to build that perfect house of your dreams. You have saved and saved, and now it’s time to put your plan into action. You find a wonderful, perfect piece of land in the city. It’s exactly what you are looking for – because it’s the plan that everyone talks about. You envision the all brick house sitting on luscious green grass, surrounded by a white picket fence. Inside is a marble foyer leading into a family room with beautiful oak hardwood floors. Granite lines the kitchen counter tops and there is an island sink in the middle. Upstairs has four perfect bedrooms and the master bedroom has an ensuite bathroom and an enormous walk-in closet, of course. It’s truly a dream come true, and it’s only a matter of time. You purchase the land and think to yourself, in nine short months, you will have it all.

But suddenly your agent calls to tell you, the land is not properly zoned, and the city has not approved it for building your perfect home. They have instead, given you land in the country, where an old country home sits. You are absolutely devastated, your dreams vanishing right before your eyes. You know you can’t back out now, you need a place to live, and despite it not being what you wanted, you know that somehow you will manage and that you can continue on.

You tell everyone what has happened, and everyone is disappointed, some even offering their condolences. You know that everyone else has a nice city home, and that was what you had planned, but you have to come to terms with the fact that you must learn to live in the country.

You go to see the property every month until closing and something funny happens. You start to fall in love with the place. The air is fresh, it’s peaceful and serene. There’s a pond on the land, and the house, though not a new all brick home, is quaint, and has lots of hidden potential. You soon realize it’s not a awful place, it’s just a different place. It’s slower paced than the city, less noisy and flamboyant, but it’s beautiful none the less. And in the process, you soon realize you may even get to meet some new and wonderful neighbours.

Its closing day and you suddenly find yourself full of anticipation, but you are still a little worried. After all, it isn’t what you had originally hoped for, and the house may need some repairs. But you are determined to accept it, and tackle everything one step at a time. You open the front door, and suddenly you are thrilled with what you see. The house is lovely, and has lots of character. The rooms are smaller but it’s decorated with beautiful attention and detail. The kitchen has marble instead of granite, and the bathroom has a soaker tub instead of a Jacuzzi. There isn’t a walk-in closet in sight, but the rooms all come with an indescribable view. Somehow, you just know that it was always meant to be and that this is now home.

This is my analogy of what it will be like for people who discover that they will be caring for a baby with Down syndrome. For us, it is not a terrible place to be, it is a journey full of surprises, milestones and discovery like any other child. And as the story suggests, sometimes it’s only a matter of ‘point of view’, and surprisingly, once you have been there, you don’t want to be anywhere else. The journey, like all others doesn’t come without some bumps in the road, but once you find your way, it’s all about the place you discovered, in most cases - quite by random chance
Author: Sandi Graham-McWade, Copyright
©

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Monday, December 21, 2009

My Journal - Week 18 (21Dec09)

Alright, so I am an official dummy.  Many of you have heard me complain that Hunter is or was taking longer and longer to get down for his bedtime.  It used to start promptly at midnight, every night, like clock work.  You could have set your watch by Hunter's bedtime.  Then, somehow, (and slowly) he started to have his last nursing session at midnight, and that too became a "scheduled event".  And eventually, bedtime became anytime after midnight, and sometime before 3 am.... How in the world did this happen?  Okay, so I am mostly to blame for these late night "owling" sessions... and poor Hunter, none the wiser, just thought that he was doing mommy a favour by staying up with me???  So last night I had a daring inspiration - seeing as how we have a E.I. appointment early this morning (and that is something most of you know don't work well with me - the word "early" and "Sandi" are not even nearly synonymous) at 8:30 am, which means getting up at 7:00 am.... As usual, Hunter was in no mood to fall asleep on his own at or near midnight.  Quite chatty, I figured, we would start this evening off a bit different.  No more morning baths.  This should be an evening event, why else would they have named a baby wash "baby bedtime" etc. 


[Hunter in the bath - nice hair!]

This would be the "prep" for making Hunter all relaxed and ready for possible sleepy time.  And, if no luck there, next would be baby cereal at 10:30 ish.  Goal?  Fill up belly and make baby even more sleepy....  And for the grand finale, the newest and last step - why not just put him into his crib, turn off the lights, close the door and actually use the really expensive baby monitor with the "night time vision"???  Are you kidding me?  This actually works?  No sooner than I had put him down, did he promptly go - to - sleep.  And sleep he stayed until I woke him up at 7 am.  I am beside myself.  And I am also sitting here thinking up additional words to call myself....  On the flip side, I am wondering if this is all a big fluke, and in the real world it doesn't ever happen like this... and subsequently I am not an idiot for thinking that it would never really work.... I will venture to try it again tonight.  Just like an experiment with a thesis - create idea, attempt, try again to confirm and report.

Anyway, I just couldn't even wait to tell you all about it, I even set up a reminder to type this one down in the Blog!  (Didn't want to forget this special occasion by any means.)  In addition I will have to report back on the tag team duo Jenn and Kay for Hunter's E.I. appointment later on today.  By the way, Hunter is still asleep (beside me on the couch) - yes well, get all the sleep you can bubby, it's going to be a workout in less than 45 minutes!

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