Welcome to Our House - The Analogy ©

Having a baby is special. For some, it’s a lifelong dream, for others, a wonderful surprise. Either way, many of us have thought about taking this journey and whether it’s planned or a pleasant surprise, we all have preconceived ideas about what our child will look and be like. But what if it isn’t what we planned or expected? This is a short story I have written for parents who have or are expecting an exceptionally special child.

Welcome to our House – An analogy

After many months of dreaming, you finally decide it’s time. You are going to build that perfect house of your dreams. You have saved and saved, and now it’s time to put your plan into action. You find a wonderful, perfect piece of land in the city. It’s exactly what you are looking for – because it’s the plan that everyone talks about. You envision the all brick house sitting on luscious green grass, surrounded by a white picket fence. Inside is a marble foyer leading into a family room with beautiful oak hardwood floors. Granite lines the kitchen counter tops and there is an island sink in the middle. Upstairs has four perfect bedrooms and the master bedroom has an ensuite bathroom and an enormous walk-in closet, of course. It’s truly a dream come true, and it’s only a matter of time. You purchase the land and think to yourself, in nine short months, you will have it all.

But suddenly your agent calls to tell you, the land is not properly zoned, and the city has not approved it for building your perfect home. They have instead, given you land in the country, where an old country home sits. You are absolutely devastated, your dreams vanishing right before your eyes. You know you can’t back out now, you need a place to live, and despite it not being what you wanted, you know that somehow you will manage and that you can continue on.

You tell everyone what has happened, and everyone is disappointed, some even offering their condolences. You know that everyone else has a nice city home, and that was what you had planned, but you have to come to terms with the fact that you must learn to live in the country.

You go to see the property every month until closing and something funny happens. You start to fall in love with the place. The air is fresh, it’s peaceful and serene. There’s a pond on the land, and the house, though not a new all brick home, is quaint, and has lots of hidden potential. You soon realize it’s not a awful place, it’s just a different place. It’s slower paced than the city, less noisy and flamboyant, but it’s beautiful none the less. And in the process, you soon realize you may even get to meet some new and wonderful neighbours.

Its closing day and you suddenly find yourself full of anticipation, but you are still a little worried. After all, it isn’t what you had originally hoped for, and the house may need some repairs. But you are determined to accept it, and tackle everything one step at a time. You open the front door, and suddenly you are thrilled with what you see. The house is lovely, and has lots of character. The rooms are smaller but it’s decorated with beautiful attention and detail. The kitchen has marble instead of granite, and the bathroom has a soaker tub instead of a Jacuzzi. There isn’t a walk-in closet in sight, but the rooms all come with an indescribable view. Somehow, you just know that it was always meant to be and that this is now home.

This is my analogy of what it will be like for people who discover that they will be caring for a baby with Down syndrome. For us, it is not a terrible place to be, it is a journey full of surprises, milestones and discovery like any other child. And as the story suggests, sometimes it’s only a matter of ‘point of view’, and surprisingly, once you have been there, you don’t want to be anywhere else. The journey, like all others doesn’t come without some bumps in the road, but once you find your way, it’s all about the place you discovered, in most cases - quite by random chance
Author: Sandi Graham-McWade, Copyright

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Saturday, December 19, 2009

My Journal - Week 18 (19Dec09)

Today was a fun day for Hunter, Grandma and I.  We went to cousin Judy's baby shower - oh remember when we had that day?  Seems so long ago, but really it was only 6 months ago!  Well, I was worried about Hunter's reaction to family that he hadn't seen for about 2 months, as he is now recognizing faces (or rather, the issue is when he isn't recognizing faces....).  For the early part, he was pretty upset, maybe a little over stimulated and a bit hungry.  But, he seemed to calm down and tolerate the rest of the afternoon after the 1st hour.  It's funny to watch him looking at other people.  But, once again - I am totally convinced that Hunter knows who is a recent mommy and who is out of practice! 

[Taina with a sleeping Hunter]

I noticed that Hunter was very quiet 'vocally' today though, so I am wondering if that is an early warning sign that he will be shy until he warms up to people?  I hope not....  Shortly after getting into the truck, mom and I endured a full blown "Hunter conversation" all the way home from Scarborough to Ajax!  And leave it to Hunter to have mom and I saying, "now why couldn't you be that talkative in front of the family?"  I am sure he was just recounting his experience of his first "hen party" otherwise known as a baby shower.

[Melissa tickling Hunter]

What did we expect - he was the only male in the whole house!  But, Hunter did save some smiles and laughes for Aunty Melissa at the end of the day.  (She knew the famous tickle spots, didn't she Hunter?!)  Now since Hunter had about an hour nap at the very end of the shower, (and I got a chance to eat and socialize - yay!) I am left with a wide-eyed not too sleepy baby for the rest of the evening.  Hummm, not to sure if the hour break I had will be worth it.  Guess I will find out in about 2 and 1/2 hours!

So while Hunter was only mildly gassy today, it hasn't gotten any worse.  I think that I need to put Hunter back on the baby cereal.  He's just too hungry on breast milk alone, and dare I say it - Hunter has woken me up two nights in a row at 4:30-5:00 am because he is slurping away, eating his fingers.  Now, at this point, he's not actually awake - awake, but he's obviously hungry because when I get him out of the crib and feed him, he goes to town like he's never eaten in his life!  So, I honestly think it is time to get back onto the cereal.  (Plus as a benefit, he does tend to sleep longer after having cereal at night.)

Since all of our shopping is done, minus two people who we had done but now have to re-do, Sunday should be pretty relaxing.  Monday we are back at it again, we have our E.I. specialists (Jenn & Kay - my lifesavers) over early at 8:30 am.  I hope Jenn will be impressed with Hunter's neck development.  It has come a long way. 

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