Welcome to Our House - The Analogy ©

Having a baby is special. For some, it’s a lifelong dream, for others, a wonderful surprise. Either way, many of us have thought about taking this journey and whether it’s planned or a pleasant surprise, we all have preconceived ideas about what our child will look and be like. But what if it isn’t what we planned or expected? This is a short story I have written for parents who have or are expecting an exceptionally special child.

Welcome to our House – An analogy

After many months of dreaming, you finally decide it’s time. You are going to build that perfect house of your dreams. You have saved and saved, and now it’s time to put your plan into action. You find a wonderful, perfect piece of land in the city. It’s exactly what you are looking for – because it’s the plan that everyone talks about. You envision the all brick house sitting on luscious green grass, surrounded by a white picket fence. Inside is a marble foyer leading into a family room with beautiful oak hardwood floors. Granite lines the kitchen counter tops and there is an island sink in the middle. Upstairs has four perfect bedrooms and the master bedroom has an ensuite bathroom and an enormous walk-in closet, of course. It’s truly a dream come true, and it’s only a matter of time. You purchase the land and think to yourself, in nine short months, you will have it all.

But suddenly your agent calls to tell you, the land is not properly zoned, and the city has not approved it for building your perfect home. They have instead, given you land in the country, where an old country home sits. You are absolutely devastated, your dreams vanishing right before your eyes. You know you can’t back out now, you need a place to live, and despite it not being what you wanted, you know that somehow you will manage and that you can continue on.

You tell everyone what has happened, and everyone is disappointed, some even offering their condolences. You know that everyone else has a nice city home, and that was what you had planned, but you have to come to terms with the fact that you must learn to live in the country.

You go to see the property every month until closing and something funny happens. You start to fall in love with the place. The air is fresh, it’s peaceful and serene. There’s a pond on the land, and the house, though not a new all brick home, is quaint, and has lots of hidden potential. You soon realize it’s not a awful place, it’s just a different place. It’s slower paced than the city, less noisy and flamboyant, but it’s beautiful none the less. And in the process, you soon realize you may even get to meet some new and wonderful neighbours.

Its closing day and you suddenly find yourself full of anticipation, but you are still a little worried. After all, it isn’t what you had originally hoped for, and the house may need some repairs. But you are determined to accept it, and tackle everything one step at a time. You open the front door, and suddenly you are thrilled with what you see. The house is lovely, and has lots of character. The rooms are smaller but it’s decorated with beautiful attention and detail. The kitchen has marble instead of granite, and the bathroom has a soaker tub instead of a Jacuzzi. There isn’t a walk-in closet in sight, but the rooms all come with an indescribable view. Somehow, you just know that it was always meant to be and that this is now home.

This is my analogy of what it will be like for people who discover that they will be caring for a baby with Down syndrome. For us, it is not a terrible place to be, it is a journey full of surprises, milestones and discovery like any other child. And as the story suggests, sometimes it’s only a matter of ‘point of view’, and surprisingly, once you have been there, you don’t want to be anywhere else. The journey, like all others doesn’t come without some bumps in the road, but once you find your way, it’s all about the place you discovered, in most cases - quite by random chance
Author: Sandi Graham-McWade, Copyright

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Tuesday, June 8, 2010

My Journal - Week 42 (08Jun10)

The path to healing....

After an extremely long, exhausting, and emotional  day (and night), I am finally home.  I had my appointment with the hospital yesterday (Monday) at 11:00 am and was eventually scheduled for surgery at 10:00 pm at night.  Because of being in the Emergency Department I had to endure a lengthy wait to speak with the on call doctor and I had no choice but to wait. 

I had my moments of clarity and then moments of extreme sadness.  It was certainly one of the more tougher days I have ever had to deal with on a personal level.  In all the time that I was there, waiting to have the surgery, I missed my son so terribly who was at home with Grandma and in great capable hands.  I had never been away from Hunter for 12 hours at a time, and I felt as though I were abandoning him.  I know he didn't feel that way, as he is such a happy-go-lucky boy and enjoyed his time all day with Grandma.  I am sure I suffered more not being with him then he did of me!

John and his Mom (my other mom) stayed with me the entire time.  I had a great support system and in those moments of sadness, they were there - whether to bring me a box of Kleenex or just to have a shoulder to cry on.  Luckily, a few of the staff in the ER had remembered me from previous work occasions (being a Police Officer I had brought many people to their ER, and also from having been a patient there myself over the years some had remembered my happy bubbly personality) which was a nice additional comfort.

In all I am now home and I can finally get on with life as well as begin this mental and physical healing process.  I want to thank everyone for their kind words of support and care.  Without those, I am sure it would be a much more difficult healing process.  I also know to thank my lucky stars that I have my son who remains the light of our lives and has a never ending supply of unconditional love.


  1. We have a daughter who has Down Syndrome, her name is Soraya, she is three years old now. She is an Angel.
    These children want to learn, they want to develope and they do very well when loved, supported, encouraged and shown the way.
    I congratulate you on your blog and your determination and love for your son.


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