Welcome to Our House - The Analogy ©

Having a baby is special. For some, it’s a lifelong dream, for others, a wonderful surprise. Either way, many of us have thought about taking this journey and whether it’s planned or a pleasant surprise, we all have preconceived ideas about what our child will look and be like. But what if it isn’t what we planned or expected? This is a short story I have written for parents who have or are expecting an exceptionally special child.

Welcome to our House – An analogy

After many months of dreaming, you finally decide it’s time. You are going to build that perfect house of your dreams. You have saved and saved, and now it’s time to put your plan into action. You find a wonderful, perfect piece of land in the city. It’s exactly what you are looking for – because it’s the plan that everyone talks about. You envision the all brick house sitting on luscious green grass, surrounded by a white picket fence. Inside is a marble foyer leading into a family room with beautiful oak hardwood floors. Granite lines the kitchen counter tops and there is an island sink in the middle. Upstairs has four perfect bedrooms and the master bedroom has an ensuite bathroom and an enormous walk-in closet, of course. It’s truly a dream come true, and it’s only a matter of time. You purchase the land and think to yourself, in nine short months, you will have it all.

But suddenly your agent calls to tell you, the land is not properly zoned, and the city has not approved it for building your perfect home. They have instead, given you land in the country, where an old country home sits. You are absolutely devastated, your dreams vanishing right before your eyes. You know you can’t back out now, you need a place to live, and despite it not being what you wanted, you know that somehow you will manage and that you can continue on.

You tell everyone what has happened, and everyone is disappointed, some even offering their condolences. You know that everyone else has a nice city home, and that was what you had planned, but you have to come to terms with the fact that you must learn to live in the country.

You go to see the property every month until closing and something funny happens. You start to fall in love with the place. The air is fresh, it’s peaceful and serene. There’s a pond on the land, and the house, though not a new all brick home, is quaint, and has lots of hidden potential. You soon realize it’s not a awful place, it’s just a different place. It’s slower paced than the city, less noisy and flamboyant, but it’s beautiful none the less. And in the process, you soon realize you may even get to meet some new and wonderful neighbours.

Its closing day and you suddenly find yourself full of anticipation, but you are still a little worried. After all, it isn’t what you had originally hoped for, and the house may need some repairs. But you are determined to accept it, and tackle everything one step at a time. You open the front door, and suddenly you are thrilled with what you see. The house is lovely, and has lots of character. The rooms are smaller but it’s decorated with beautiful attention and detail. The kitchen has marble instead of granite, and the bathroom has a soaker tub instead of a Jacuzzi. There isn’t a walk-in closet in sight, but the rooms all come with an indescribable view. Somehow, you just know that it was always meant to be and that this is now home.

This is my analogy of what it will be like for people who discover that they will be caring for a baby with Down syndrome. For us, it is not a terrible place to be, it is a journey full of surprises, milestones and discovery like any other child. And as the story suggests, sometimes it’s only a matter of ‘point of view’, and surprisingly, once you have been there, you don’t want to be anywhere else. The journey, like all others doesn’t come without some bumps in the road, but once you find your way, it’s all about the place you discovered, in most cases - quite by random chance
Author: Sandi Graham-McWade, Copyright
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Sunday, June 27, 2010

My Journal - Week 45 (27Jun10)

One for you, and one for me!

Yesterday, I forgot to post a new entry about how Aunty Jane brought some fresh strawberries over from the Witamore Farm's specially for Hunter!  You have all seen how much he loves strawberries.  These ones were so fresh and sweet, with plenty of juices!  Hunter was ecstatic!   I wish I had taken some more "Strawberry" pictures, but it would have been so repetitive.  Anyway, you can imagine!

On the Mommy front:
Wednesday, I was in such pain - not only my usual back pains but I was having extreme ovarian pains, (I know that I suffer with cysts so I just figured I was having some cystic pains) I scheduled a "squeezed in" appointment with my family doctor to get some additional pain medication and to ask him if there was anything I could do for the cyst pains.  He prescribed me some anti-inflammatory medication that was to help with the cysts.  The next day, I had a regular follow up appointment with my fertility doctor who hadn't seen me since the D&C surgery.  When I went I told him about how I had the same cystic pains that I had felt since week five of the pregnancy.  It wasn't anything horrendous, but I wanted him to know I was still feeling it, and that I had seen my family doctor about it the day before.  He decided to to a pelvic exam.  Right after he completed it, he announced that he wanted me to go directly to the Emergency Department at the hospital.  He even left the exam room to call the hospital and tell them he was sending me right away.  I was left scratching my head.  He handed me a note to pass on to the ER doctor.  It read, D&C June 7th.  Beta hCG decreasing.  ? Ovarian cyst rupture.  ? Ectopic.  I was really confused.  He suspected an Ectopic pregnancy?  I left his office, and drove home.  I gathered my paperwork (results from the previous ultrasounds which did indicate I had a "corpus luteal cyst" on the 5th of June.  I went to the ER with John.  We sat waiting for 8 hours, until a doctor finally saw me and I asked him to explain what my fertility doctor was worried about.  The ER doctor explained that the concern was not that I was suffering a recent ectopic, but that there was a slight possibility that in my last pregnancy I could have conceived two eggs.  One which implanted, and one which may have not travelled to the uterus, but stayed in the fallopian tubes.  I was floored!  There was a possibility I was having twins?  And this would have been the reason why early on at five weeks, I was thinking that the cystic pains I had then was ectopic pains.  That scare was now justified.  The reason, 11 weeks later I wasn't having a ruptured fallopian tube was that while it may be possible that one was there, it too may have been a fetal demise, just like the one in my uterine cavity.  Wow.  Talk about crazy.  The doctor assured me that if this was the case, I would certainly make medical journals.  I guess so.  He said, it was more likely I was suffering a cystic/rupture.  I have had these before, so it wasn't a scary prospect.  He left us and told us to return in the morning (Friday) for another ultrasound - to confirm cystic or ectopic....
Friday - 12am.  (Note: instead of lower left pains, I woke up in the morning with lower right pains.)  I return to the ER, have my ultrasound and I tell the technician (who clearly was determined to look at my left side) that I am no longer experiencing pains only on my left, they are now on my right.  She does her thing and then tells me I am to go back to the ER and wait to see the doctor - again.... Five more hours, I finally get to see the doctor.  He tells me that he can not confirm an ectopic pregnancy or demise, but I clearly have a large 4.7 cm complex hemorrhagic cyst on the right ovary/adnexal cystic structure.  Wow.  So, he tells me there isn't really anything to be done at this stage, but that it requires follow up and medication.  I leave thinking to myself, all those hours in the ER, when I didn't even want to go!  I was told to go!  Better safe then sorry I always say, but that was about 14 hours of my life that was used up!

Onto some more interesting news with MedHelp:
I am not too sure if I mentioned this, I think the last time I posted anything about MedHelp it was about my becoming Community Leader for the MedHelp Genetics Forum.  I have now been asked to be Community Leader for the MedHelp Children - Special Needs Forum.  I am honoured to be able to do this.  It of course is right in line with the MedHelp Down syndrome and Genetics Forums, and really is quite helpful to be able to watch all of them together.  I am hoping that I can help to build these forums, and provide the help and advice from experience that I have gathered myself and elsewhere.  And of course so love to do.

1 comment:

  1. We love to go raspberry picking at Whittamores. I think it is nearly time to go this year. Wonder if Hunter will like them too?

    ReplyDelete

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