Welcome to Our House - The Analogy ©

Having a baby is special. For some, it’s a lifelong dream, for others, a wonderful surprise. Either way, many of us have thought about taking this journey and whether it’s planned or a pleasant surprise, we all have preconceived ideas about what our child will look and be like. But what if it isn’t what we planned or expected? This is a short story I have written for parents who have or are expecting an exceptionally special child.

Welcome to our House – An analogy

After many months of dreaming, you finally decide it’s time. You are going to build that perfect house of your dreams. You have saved and saved, and now it’s time to put your plan into action. You find a wonderful, perfect piece of land in the city. It’s exactly what you are looking for – because it’s the plan that everyone talks about. You envision the all brick house sitting on luscious green grass, surrounded by a white picket fence. Inside is a marble foyer leading into a family room with beautiful oak hardwood floors. Granite lines the kitchen counter tops and there is an island sink in the middle. Upstairs has four perfect bedrooms and the master bedroom has an ensuite bathroom and an enormous walk-in closet, of course. It’s truly a dream come true, and it’s only a matter of time. You purchase the land and think to yourself, in nine short months, you will have it all.

But suddenly your agent calls to tell you, the land is not properly zoned, and the city has not approved it for building your perfect home. They have instead, given you land in the country, where an old country home sits. You are absolutely devastated, your dreams vanishing right before your eyes. You know you can’t back out now, you need a place to live, and despite it not being what you wanted, you know that somehow you will manage and that you can continue on.

You tell everyone what has happened, and everyone is disappointed, some even offering their condolences. You know that everyone else has a nice city home, and that was what you had planned, but you have to come to terms with the fact that you must learn to live in the country.

You go to see the property every month until closing and something funny happens. You start to fall in love with the place. The air is fresh, it’s peaceful and serene. There’s a pond on the land, and the house, though not a new all brick home, is quaint, and has lots of hidden potential. You soon realize it’s not a awful place, it’s just a different place. It’s slower paced than the city, less noisy and flamboyant, but it’s beautiful none the less. And in the process, you soon realize you may even get to meet some new and wonderful neighbours.

Its closing day and you suddenly find yourself full of anticipation, but you are still a little worried. After all, it isn’t what you had originally hoped for, and the house may need some repairs. But you are determined to accept it, and tackle everything one step at a time. You open the front door, and suddenly you are thrilled with what you see. The house is lovely, and has lots of character. The rooms are smaller but it’s decorated with beautiful attention and detail. The kitchen has marble instead of granite, and the bathroom has a soaker tub instead of a Jacuzzi. There isn’t a walk-in closet in sight, but the rooms all come with an indescribable view. Somehow, you just know that it was always meant to be and that this is now home.

This is my analogy of what it will be like for people who discover that they will be caring for a baby with Down syndrome. For us, it is not a terrible place to be, it is a journey full of surprises, milestones and discovery like any other child. And as the story suggests, sometimes it’s only a matter of ‘point of view’, and surprisingly, once you have been there, you don’t want to be anywhere else. The journey, like all others doesn’t come without some bumps in the road, but once you find your way, it’s all about the place you discovered, in most cases - quite by random chance
Author: Sandi Graham-McWade, Copyright
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Monday, January 4, 2010

My Journal - Week 20 (04Jan10)

I want to share my triumph with you all, even though it has really past its point of interest for most people.  I just feel that I should share how proud I am of my accomplishment.

I have been totally cigarette free for a year now.  Probably for most of you, unless you are or were a smoker, you cannot even fathom how difficult it is to quit smoking.  Especially if you have been doing it for a long time like I had been - 19 years.  It was not only an addiction, but it was also a habitual and locational problem.  I remember the first time I thought I had quit - and I say 'thought' because in my mind I had quit, but in reality I only quit buying my own.  I did honestly make the effort, for the first big event in my life - becoming a police officer.  Unfortunately, it only lasted for the two years prior to my actually policing, and then once I was out in my own police car stirring up trouble, my old friend found me again.

Now, it isn't as though I didn't know it was bad for me, or that it was cutting my life shorter and shorter, but as they say, some habits are hard to break.  I remember seeing some ads on television coaxing me to quit because I had hit my 30th birthday, or because I got married.  But the one that really stood out in my mind was, for my first born.  It's funny how you wont do things for the good of your own self, or possibly for your family, but for me, knowing that one day I would have to answer to my son: "Mommy, why are you smoking?" practically killed me.  I had no proper answer, and it wasn't like I could say, "do as I say, not as I do" - to a child who would be looking to me for guidance.  I wanted to be a proper role model for him, even before he was born, not to mention the health risks that everyone was pounding into my head on a daily basis regarding smoking while pregnant.  So, just like that I made up my mind I was quitting.  Now, making up one's mind, and putting theory into action are two very different things.  I had a plan though.  When the remainder of my carton of cigarettes was done, I was done.

I wont kid you, it was hard, and I did crave my habitual cigarettes, but the more pregnant I got, the harder it was to actually smoke.  (Thank goodness for pregnancy hormones, without the nauseated feeling of actually smoking and feeling sick to my stomach, I might not have actually quit!)  So perhaps timing is everything.  Maybe it was a number of small things that led me to my victory, but in the end, I have to say - I am proud of myself.  What's more is, I really thought I would revert right back to wanting to smoke when I was no longer pregnant, but to this day, I do not want to smoke and I am proud that I am finally done with that part of my life.



I have a feeling that I will be repeating this sentiment until the end of time, "Thank you Hunter, for saving me".

And in future...

1 comment:

  1. I'm so happy hun you stop smoking, better for your health and everyone elses and more money in your pocket to spend on other things.

    ReplyDelete

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