Welcome to Our House - The Analogy ©

Having a baby is special. For some, it’s a lifelong dream, for others, a wonderful surprise. Either way, many of us have thought about taking this journey and whether it’s planned or a pleasant surprise, we all have preconceived ideas about what our child will look and be like. But what if it isn’t what we planned or expected? This is a short story I have written for parents who have or are expecting an exceptionally special child.

Welcome to our House – An analogy

After many months of dreaming, you finally decide it’s time. You are going to build that perfect house of your dreams. You have saved and saved, and now it’s time to put your plan into action. You find a wonderful, perfect piece of land in the city. It’s exactly what you are looking for – because it’s the plan that everyone talks about. You envision the all brick house sitting on luscious green grass, surrounded by a white picket fence. Inside is a marble foyer leading into a family room with beautiful oak hardwood floors. Granite lines the kitchen counter tops and there is an island sink in the middle. Upstairs has four perfect bedrooms and the master bedroom has an ensuite bathroom and an enormous walk-in closet, of course. It’s truly a dream come true, and it’s only a matter of time. You purchase the land and think to yourself, in nine short months, you will have it all.

But suddenly your agent calls to tell you, the land is not properly zoned, and the city has not approved it for building your perfect home. They have instead, given you land in the country, where an old country home sits. You are absolutely devastated, your dreams vanishing right before your eyes. You know you can’t back out now, you need a place to live, and despite it not being what you wanted, you know that somehow you will manage and that you can continue on.

You tell everyone what has happened, and everyone is disappointed, some even offering their condolences. You know that everyone else has a nice city home, and that was what you had planned, but you have to come to terms with the fact that you must learn to live in the country.

You go to see the property every month until closing and something funny happens. You start to fall in love with the place. The air is fresh, it’s peaceful and serene. There’s a pond on the land, and the house, though not a new all brick home, is quaint, and has lots of hidden potential. You soon realize it’s not a awful place, it’s just a different place. It’s slower paced than the city, less noisy and flamboyant, but it’s beautiful none the less. And in the process, you soon realize you may even get to meet some new and wonderful neighbours.

Its closing day and you suddenly find yourself full of anticipation, but you are still a little worried. After all, it isn’t what you had originally hoped for, and the house may need some repairs. But you are determined to accept it, and tackle everything one step at a time. You open the front door, and suddenly you are thrilled with what you see. The house is lovely, and has lots of character. The rooms are smaller but it’s decorated with beautiful attention and detail. The kitchen has marble instead of granite, and the bathroom has a soaker tub instead of a Jacuzzi. There isn’t a walk-in closet in sight, but the rooms all come with an indescribable view. Somehow, you just know that it was always meant to be and that this is now home.

This is my analogy of what it will be like for people who discover that they will be caring for a baby with Down syndrome. For us, it is not a terrible place to be, it is a journey full of surprises, milestones and discovery like any other child. And as the story suggests, sometimes it’s only a matter of ‘point of view’, and surprisingly, once you have been there, you don’t want to be anywhere else. The journey, like all others doesn’t come without some bumps in the road, but once you find your way, it’s all about the place you discovered, in most cases - quite by random chance
Author: Sandi Graham-McWade, Copyright
©

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Tuesday, May 25, 2010

My Journal - Week 40 (25May10)

Hands and knees are for what????

Yesterday I promised that I would post pictures about today's wonderful play-date with my girlfriend Nikki and her son Chase.  Unfortunately since we got to talking so much (catching up like always even though it's only been a few weeks since we saw them last) and got too distracted and I kind of forgot to take new pictures.  Having said that we did get to go out for a beautiful walk, the babies got to chat and babble among themselves (how cute was that?) and Hunter got to see Chase crawl around and play with toys!  This was a huge benefit because I think after Hunter saw Chase crawling something clicked.  I have been saying on occasion that Hunter will get up on his fours and rock himself (usually on the bed or in his crib), sometimes going backward BUT today after Nikki & Chase left, I put Hunter down on the ground and he surprised me by getting up on all fours, rocking, and making small but definite progress moving forward!  Albeit most times he did this his forward momentum was a result of flopping down after rocking so hard, a few times he did rock himself forward a few inches!  It is obvious that since he was doing it so much today, and also staying up on his hands a knees for as long as he did, I predict he will be creeping or crawling along by the end of the month or at least before his E.I. Jenn returns for his next evaluation session on June 9th!  I can hope anyway!  It's a little thing like confidence that seems to stop him cold in his tracks.  Once he figures out that it will benefit him to actually go forward, look out - he'll be motoring away!  Right now the cutest and sometimes difficult thing to see is that he's trying so hard to go, and after expending so much energy trying he looks so defeated and frustrated that he hasn't made any progress with his attempt to reach or get to something he wants.  And he certainly lets you know that he isn't too pleased about the situation (while never crying, he can and will certainly grunt or yell out a displeasure!).

Here is what I was able to catch of Hunter on camera after Chase and his Mommy left us this afternoon....

[This is how Mommy said to start off...]

[Sometimes I still look like a seal out of water, rocking on my belly!!]

[Here I am getting ready to go up, wait for it... wait...]

[A little help from Grandma does make it easier when I am tired!]

[Hey!  Over here!  Did you see this?  I'm up - I'm up!!!]

[What you can't see is how I am actually rocking wildly forward & back!]

[Rooaaarrrrrr!  Wait... I'm not a lion?  Oh ya, those are Monkeys on my clothes!]
[So, now what?  I forget what Mommy said I am supposed to do next!]

Hopefully these pictures were worth seeing after me having forgotten to take some of the two boys together.  I know that there will be many more in future of the two of them, so not to worry!

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