Welcome to Our House - The Analogy ©

Having a baby is special. For some, it’s a lifelong dream, for others, a wonderful surprise. Either way, many of us have thought about taking this journey and whether it’s planned or a pleasant surprise, we all have preconceived ideas about what our child will look and be like. But what if it isn’t what we planned or expected? This is a short story I have written for parents who have or are expecting an exceptionally special child.

Welcome to our House – An analogy

After many months of dreaming, you finally decide it’s time. You are going to build that perfect house of your dreams. You have saved and saved, and now it’s time to put your plan into action. You find a wonderful, perfect piece of land in the city. It’s exactly what you are looking for – because it’s the plan that everyone talks about. You envision the all brick house sitting on luscious green grass, surrounded by a white picket fence. Inside is a marble foyer leading into a family room with beautiful oak hardwood floors. Granite lines the kitchen counter tops and there is an island sink in the middle. Upstairs has four perfect bedrooms and the master bedroom has an ensuite bathroom and an enormous walk-in closet, of course. It’s truly a dream come true, and it’s only a matter of time. You purchase the land and think to yourself, in nine short months, you will have it all.

But suddenly your agent calls to tell you, the land is not properly zoned, and the city has not approved it for building your perfect home. They have instead, given you land in the country, where an old country home sits. You are absolutely devastated, your dreams vanishing right before your eyes. You know you can’t back out now, you need a place to live, and despite it not being what you wanted, you know that somehow you will manage and that you can continue on.

You tell everyone what has happened, and everyone is disappointed, some even offering their condolences. You know that everyone else has a nice city home, and that was what you had planned, but you have to come to terms with the fact that you must learn to live in the country.

You go to see the property every month until closing and something funny happens. You start to fall in love with the place. The air is fresh, it’s peaceful and serene. There’s a pond on the land, and the house, though not a new all brick home, is quaint, and has lots of hidden potential. You soon realize it’s not a awful place, it’s just a different place. It’s slower paced than the city, less noisy and flamboyant, but it’s beautiful none the less. And in the process, you soon realize you may even get to meet some new and wonderful neighbours.

Its closing day and you suddenly find yourself full of anticipation, but you are still a little worried. After all, it isn’t what you had originally hoped for, and the house may need some repairs. But you are determined to accept it, and tackle everything one step at a time. You open the front door, and suddenly you are thrilled with what you see. The house is lovely, and has lots of character. The rooms are smaller but it’s decorated with beautiful attention and detail. The kitchen has marble instead of granite, and the bathroom has a soaker tub instead of a Jacuzzi. There isn’t a walk-in closet in sight, but the rooms all come with an indescribable view. Somehow, you just know that it was always meant to be and that this is now home.

This is my analogy of what it will be like for people who discover that they will be caring for a baby with Down syndrome. For us, it is not a terrible place to be, it is a journey full of surprises, milestones and discovery like any other child. And as the story suggests, sometimes it’s only a matter of ‘point of view’, and surprisingly, once you have been there, you don’t want to be anywhere else. The journey, like all others doesn’t come without some bumps in the road, but once you find your way, it’s all about the place you discovered, in most cases - quite by random chance
Author: Sandi Graham-McWade, Copyright

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Monday, May 24, 2010

My Journal - Week 40 (24May10)

Tale of the tape for the 9 month checkup....

Last Thursday (the 20th of May) Hunter had his 9 month checkup.  I swear the nurse who measures him has some serious measuring issues!  When ever she lists his official measurements, it's always off.  Each time she measures him (including the first time around), he loses at least an inch every time, so I had to ask her to remeasure.  This "first" time she got 26 inches.  I laughed.  I told her he can't continuously be shrinking every visit!  So she re-did it and he gained an inch from the first measurement.  But, in the end, he was still an inch shorter than what we get when we measure him at home!  So, officially he is 27 inches, but at home he is still 28 inches.  He weighed in at 17 lbs, 10 ozs., and his head circumference was 18 1/2 inches.  He had his final Menjugate vaccination, to which he momentarily yelped and then laughed.  He didn't even shed a tear this time.  Such a good baby boy, as always.  So it goes, he is healthy.  I did however tell Dr. Mark I had a concern with his legs, as they seem to bow in at the short bones (tibia/fibula).  The doctor did notice this and also that his left foot seems to be less bulky then his right.  Upon going home we did then happen to notice that in his Jumperoo and Exersaucer he tends to stand on his right food only, and literally hikes up his left.  No wonder the left is bulkier than his right.  Dr. Mark ordered an X-ray for his legs.  I am not overly worried since it isn't like he isn't able to stand on or use his left foot, but it is kind of strange that if he has the choice, he doesn't like to put weight on it unless you force him to.  In any case, hopefully we will get to the bottom of it. 

Otherwise, he seems to be in great shape, developing wonderfully and is an extremely happy baby!  He is also noticeably hungrier these days, and I have decided to up his food intake to a complete jar of baby food over lunch and dinner, with half a jar of dessert later on - plus all his (five) bottles of milk.  I guess he will start to add on the pounds now!  Dr. Mark also advised that we could start him on Homo milk if we wanted to, as he seems to be ready for it.  I think I will wait a bit on that, since both Daddy and I have milk allergies, and I don't want to rush it and create an allergy if avoidable.  When I feel he's ready, I will gradually mix the 3% milk (homo) with his formula, in hopes that this time the transition wont be as painful as the breast to formula....

Pregnancy update:
As far as the pregnancy goes, there isn't a whole lot to update.  For my first ultrasound, we were not able to detect the heartbeat because the embryo size was just too tiny to see anything (2-3mm).  For the gestational dating, I am supposed to be 7 weeks and 3 days along, but I know this can't be correct simply because I tend to ovulate later than the typical day 14.  And having several (actually six) positive ovulation predictor kit sticks, tells me that I am likely at least six days behind what my actual gestational date should be.  That would mean that the measurements I was told for my ultrasound would be correct if I were between five and six weeks along instead of seven.  Normally a first ultrasound should be between 6-8 weeks, but when I was newly pregnant with Hunter, it was exactly the same way.  On his first ultrasound at 5-6 weeks, they detected nothing but a gestational sac.  It was simply too early.  It wasn't until nine weeks along that we were able to see a good sized embryo and a heartbeat.  Knowing this, I am staying positive and trying my best not to worry.  I have had excellent rising beta hCG (pregnancy hormone) numbers, and gawd awful nausea, moodiness and other crazy pregnancy symptoms (none of which I had with Hunter...).  At the end of the day, all are encouraging signs. 

Of course, I will continue to keep you all posted!  Tomorrow Hunter and I have a play date with my girlfriend Nikki and her son Chase!  I am sure we will be taking lots of pictures of the boys playing together, so take a peek at the blog for the new upcoming photos!

1 comment:

  1. Weight management will be a huge factor in Hunter's future.


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