Welcome to Our House - The Analogy ©

Having a baby is special. For some, it’s a lifelong dream, for others, a wonderful surprise. Either way, many of us have thought about taking this journey and whether it’s planned or a pleasant surprise, we all have preconceived ideas about what our child will look and be like. But what if it isn’t what we planned or expected? This is a short story I have written for parents who have or are expecting an exceptionally special child.

Welcome to our House – An analogy

After many months of dreaming, you finally decide it’s time. You are going to build that perfect house of your dreams. You have saved and saved, and now it’s time to put your plan into action. You find a wonderful, perfect piece of land in the city. It’s exactly what you are looking for – because it’s the plan that everyone talks about. You envision the all brick house sitting on luscious green grass, surrounded by a white picket fence. Inside is a marble foyer leading into a family room with beautiful oak hardwood floors. Granite lines the kitchen counter tops and there is an island sink in the middle. Upstairs has four perfect bedrooms and the master bedroom has an ensuite bathroom and an enormous walk-in closet, of course. It’s truly a dream come true, and it’s only a matter of time. You purchase the land and think to yourself, in nine short months, you will have it all.

But suddenly your agent calls to tell you, the land is not properly zoned, and the city has not approved it for building your perfect home. They have instead, given you land in the country, where an old country home sits. You are absolutely devastated, your dreams vanishing right before your eyes. You know you can’t back out now, you need a place to live, and despite it not being what you wanted, you know that somehow you will manage and that you can continue on.

You tell everyone what has happened, and everyone is disappointed, some even offering their condolences. You know that everyone else has a nice city home, and that was what you had planned, but you have to come to terms with the fact that you must learn to live in the country.

You go to see the property every month until closing and something funny happens. You start to fall in love with the place. The air is fresh, it’s peaceful and serene. There’s a pond on the land, and the house, though not a new all brick home, is quaint, and has lots of hidden potential. You soon realize it’s not a awful place, it’s just a different place. It’s slower paced than the city, less noisy and flamboyant, but it’s beautiful none the less. And in the process, you soon realize you may even get to meet some new and wonderful neighbours.

Its closing day and you suddenly find yourself full of anticipation, but you are still a little worried. After all, it isn’t what you had originally hoped for, and the house may need some repairs. But you are determined to accept it, and tackle everything one step at a time. You open the front door, and suddenly you are thrilled with what you see. The house is lovely, and has lots of character. The rooms are smaller but it’s decorated with beautiful attention and detail. The kitchen has marble instead of granite, and the bathroom has a soaker tub instead of a Jacuzzi. There isn’t a walk-in closet in sight, but the rooms all come with an indescribable view. Somehow, you just know that it was always meant to be and that this is now home.

This is my analogy of what it will be like for people who discover that they will be caring for a baby with Down syndrome. For us, it is not a terrible place to be, it is a journey full of surprises, milestones and discovery like any other child. And as the story suggests, sometimes it’s only a matter of ‘point of view’, and surprisingly, once you have been there, you don’t want to be anywhere else. The journey, like all others doesn’t come without some bumps in the road, but once you find your way, it’s all about the place you discovered, in most cases - quite by random chance
Author: Sandi Graham-McWade, Copyright

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Thursday, May 6, 2010

My Journal - Week 37 (06May10)

The Darn Diaper Dilemma....

Pampers or Huggies???   Size 2 or Size 3???  Daytime or Nighttime???

Does this happen to everyone?  From the beginning, Hunter was a Pampers baby.  They had always fit right, and nothing ever leaked.  Recently, as he has grown, nothing seems to fit right and everything leaks!  He is in between sizes and since he is a "light weight" (he is in the 10 percentile weight group for typical babies, but in the 97 percentile for baby boys with Down syndrome - 17.2 pounds and 28 inches long) and so as a result his legs are not as chubby as other babies and thus he sometimes leaks out through the leg cuffs of the diaper or at the front and top of the waist because he's a boy!  Oh the dilemma!
So, we recently discovered Huggies Little Movers while at the Baby show here in Toronto.  They gave us a couple of free samples to try.   They worked for about two days, then he leaked again (out the front and top).  They aren't as high waisted as Pampers.  If I use the Pampers, he leaks out the legs and if I use the Huggies he leaks out the top!  Arrrrgh!  When Hunter was born we used Swaddlers.  As he grew we switched to Pampers Baby Dry with 12 hour night time protection.  And then we moved into Pampers Cruisers, figuring they would be good in stopping the leaks!  Nope, all of them leaked except the Swaddlers.  This past Tuesday we discovered Pampers finally made a larger "Swadalers" size 3.  Before last week, they only made Swaddlers sizes 1, 2 and 1-2.  Now they make 2-3 and 3.  We bought size 2-3 since he seems to be in between sizes 2 and 3.  And so we reverted back to the old faithful Swaddlers which he never ever leaked out of.  We will be trying these tomorrow, but we can't use them for night time, since they don't absorb that much for that long.  And Hunter does now sleep 12 hours straight through the night.

HELP!  Has anyone else had this problem of leakage due to smaller legs or boyish leaks out the waist?  I am going nuts trying to think of what to do, since they don't make diapers for smaller legs at the weight and height he is (as well as the amount of liquid he drinks!)  I would welcome any ideas, if there is a solution I would love to know!  Hopefully the new bag of Pampers size 2-3 will do the trick, but it still wont solve our over night needs....  I just hope he grows into his other diapers!  We have a bunch of different tested out diapers which I guess will have to be used by baby number two, if we can't use them up with Hunter!


  1. We use huggies supremes and they are great but Lucas still leaks everywhere because he pees so much! We just try to change him more often. I would definitely go up a size. I don't know about night time, Lucas still wakes up at least twice!

  2. We use the new Pampers Swaddlers (so glad they make them bigger). Landon also sleeps through the night 11.5 - 12 hrs. and he has been fine with these new swaddlers. Landon is 15 months old and only weighs 16 lbs. He wears size 2's. We try not to give a a whole bottle to Landon before his bedtime (7pm). He eats dinner with us at 5:30 and gets a little bit of water and a small snack (sometimes puffs or yogurt melts) before bed. His diaper is not so full anymore. We also try to make sure his "little friend" is pointing down in the diaper when we fasten it. That definitely helped with him peeing out the top.

    Just a thought!!!!

  3. We added diapers liners to prevent leaks. They were very useful overnight.


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