Welcome to Our House - The Analogy ©

Having a baby is special. For some, it’s a lifelong dream, for others, a wonderful surprise. Either way, many of us have thought about taking this journey and whether it’s planned or a pleasant surprise, we all have preconceived ideas about what our child will look and be like. But what if it isn’t what we planned or expected? This is a short story I have written for parents who have or are expecting an exceptionally special child.

Welcome to our House – An analogy

After many months of dreaming, you finally decide it’s time. You are going to build that perfect house of your dreams. You have saved and saved, and now it’s time to put your plan into action. You find a wonderful, perfect piece of land in the city. It’s exactly what you are looking for – because it’s the plan that everyone talks about. You envision the all brick house sitting on luscious green grass, surrounded by a white picket fence. Inside is a marble foyer leading into a family room with beautiful oak hardwood floors. Granite lines the kitchen counter tops and there is an island sink in the middle. Upstairs has four perfect bedrooms and the master bedroom has an ensuite bathroom and an enormous walk-in closet, of course. It’s truly a dream come true, and it’s only a matter of time. You purchase the land and think to yourself, in nine short months, you will have it all.

But suddenly your agent calls to tell you, the land is not properly zoned, and the city has not approved it for building your perfect home. They have instead, given you land in the country, where an old country home sits. You are absolutely devastated, your dreams vanishing right before your eyes. You know you can’t back out now, you need a place to live, and despite it not being what you wanted, you know that somehow you will manage and that you can continue on.

You tell everyone what has happened, and everyone is disappointed, some even offering their condolences. You know that everyone else has a nice city home, and that was what you had planned, but you have to come to terms with the fact that you must learn to live in the country.

You go to see the property every month until closing and something funny happens. You start to fall in love with the place. The air is fresh, it’s peaceful and serene. There’s a pond on the land, and the house, though not a new all brick home, is quaint, and has lots of hidden potential. You soon realize it’s not a awful place, it’s just a different place. It’s slower paced than the city, less noisy and flamboyant, but it’s beautiful none the less. And in the process, you soon realize you may even get to meet some new and wonderful neighbours.

Its closing day and you suddenly find yourself full of anticipation, but you are still a little worried. After all, it isn’t what you had originally hoped for, and the house may need some repairs. But you are determined to accept it, and tackle everything one step at a time. You open the front door, and suddenly you are thrilled with what you see. The house is lovely, and has lots of character. The rooms are smaller but it’s decorated with beautiful attention and detail. The kitchen has marble instead of granite, and the bathroom has a soaker tub instead of a Jacuzzi. There isn’t a walk-in closet in sight, but the rooms all come with an indescribable view. Somehow, you just know that it was always meant to be and that this is now home.

This is my analogy of what it will be like for people who discover that they will be caring for a baby with Down syndrome. For us, it is not a terrible place to be, it is a journey full of surprises, milestones and discovery like any other child. And as the story suggests, sometimes it’s only a matter of ‘point of view’, and surprisingly, once you have been there, you don’t want to be anywhere else. The journey, like all others doesn’t come without some bumps in the road, but once you find your way, it’s all about the place you discovered, in most cases - quite by random chance
Author: Sandi Graham-McWade, Copyright

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Friday, November 12, 2010

My Journal - Week 64 (12Nov10)

Update on our littlest developing bean....

Today I had yet another ultrasound, (just a reassurance and protocol when you have a high risk pregnancy) and once again walking in to the appointment, I was so very worried.  During these early weeks, my rate of loss has been high so when I have ultrasounds, (which should be an exciting time for any expecting mom) for me is always full of worry and fears.  I do have great news however and was able to get another sonogram photo.  Our littlest developing family member is continuing to grow properly and is developing right on track according to the technician.  This baby's heart rate is an outstanding 176 beats per minute which is very strong and nice.  There are tiny legs and arms developing which the technician kindly showed me during the ultrasound.  The growth is still a little ahead, dating at 8 weeks 1 day instead of 7 weeks 5 days, but that just continues to show that our baby is growing as it should.

So, while I am still waiting for some of the photos of Hunter from our Play Day at the YMCA, I am going to jump in here and post this newest ultrasound photo to share with you all.

Pregnancy Gestational Age 7 Weeks 5 Days

Now, I guess people are wondering if I think this baby is a boy or girl.  I will say this, each of my pregnancy symptoms of the 5 pregnancies that I have been though have all been different.  With Hunter, I had absolutely no morning sickness, only one day of nausea (that I can recall), some insomnia and fatigue combined, food aversions and felt absolutely fantastic health wise - the healthiest I had ever felt in my entire life.

My second pregnancy I had extreme fatigue, daily nausea and morning sickness which would actually wake me out of a dead sleep, and feeling of complete general un-wellness.  (An absolute total opposite to my first pregnancy).
The third and forth losses were too early to have many symptoms but I did have nausea for both.
This pregnancy, I have had (on and off) slight morning nausea (which only lasts a few moments at most), some fatigue, and fluish tiredness. 

As a result of these wacky symptoms I can't tell if I am having the general predictable old wives tales girl or boy.  Somehow with Hunter I knew I was having a boy.  I just knew.  People might not believe that I actually had those feelings so strongly that before we knew for sure, I purchased blue items such as his bath tub and clothes.   My feeling was so strong that I had no problems choosing colours directed to the gender before knowing for sure.  There was a special deal at Toys R Us, where you spend a specific amount and you could get a bath tub for $10 dollars and they had both Pink and Blue tubs.  My mother told me I couldn't choose yet, because I didn't even know what the sex was, but somehow I knew.  I told her I was taking the blue because this baby was definitely a boy.  Something said and pointed to having a boy.  The second pregnancy (to me), completely pointed to having a girl.  It just made sense to me since it was so polar opposite to the first, which made me then surmise that I was having a girl.  This time, I am at a loss.  I have heard all the old wives tales that suggest high heart rates are girls, heavy morning sickness are girls which I do not have (but while I know first hand that this is not true in all cases, despite there now being scientific proof that says if you have extreme sickness, its been proven that you will more likely have a girl).   I do notice one thing, I seem to actually have a craving (if you can call it a craving) for some spices or flavours or hot sauces that I usually don't have.... But otherwise I do not have any food cravings.

What do you all think this time around?  Do you care to wager a guess or your thoughts based upon my symptoms or lack of symptoms?  I am intrigued with what everyone thinks!  Post a comment below or vote in my new poll on the right side bar of the blog.

Personally if anyone is curious as to what we hope for, while most parents say they wish for one of each, I (and John) personally want another boy.  Perhaps for me, this wish is out of sheer convenience and also my tomboyish personality, but it would definitely allow us to save a bit, since we happen to have boy things.... BUT, having a healthy baby is my number one concern or wish since I have yet to have a typical pregnancy.  I am sure that Hunter would be happy to have a sibling no matter what the gender, and obviously we would be too.

1 comment:

  1. Since you're my twin :-), I'm voting boy.


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