Welcome to Our House - The Analogy ©

Having a baby is special. For some, it’s a lifelong dream, for others, a wonderful surprise. Either way, many of us have thought about taking this journey and whether it’s planned or a pleasant surprise, we all have preconceived ideas about what our child will look and be like. But what if it isn’t what we planned or expected? This is a short story I have written for parents who have or are expecting an exceptionally special child.

Welcome to our House – An analogy

After many months of dreaming, you finally decide it’s time. You are going to build that perfect house of your dreams. You have saved and saved, and now it’s time to put your plan into action. You find a wonderful, perfect piece of land in the city. It’s exactly what you are looking for – because it’s the plan that everyone talks about. You envision the all brick house sitting on luscious green grass, surrounded by a white picket fence. Inside is a marble foyer leading into a family room with beautiful oak hardwood floors. Granite lines the kitchen counter tops and there is an island sink in the middle. Upstairs has four perfect bedrooms and the master bedroom has an ensuite bathroom and an enormous walk-in closet, of course. It’s truly a dream come true, and it’s only a matter of time. You purchase the land and think to yourself, in nine short months, you will have it all.

But suddenly your agent calls to tell you, the land is not properly zoned, and the city has not approved it for building your perfect home. They have instead, given you land in the country, where an old country home sits. You are absolutely devastated, your dreams vanishing right before your eyes. You know you can’t back out now, you need a place to live, and despite it not being what you wanted, you know that somehow you will manage and that you can continue on.

You tell everyone what has happened, and everyone is disappointed, some even offering their condolences. You know that everyone else has a nice city home, and that was what you had planned, but you have to come to terms with the fact that you must learn to live in the country.

You go to see the property every month until closing and something funny happens. You start to fall in love with the place. The air is fresh, it’s peaceful and serene. There’s a pond on the land, and the house, though not a new all brick home, is quaint, and has lots of hidden potential. You soon realize it’s not a awful place, it’s just a different place. It’s slower paced than the city, less noisy and flamboyant, but it’s beautiful none the less. And in the process, you soon realize you may even get to meet some new and wonderful neighbours.

Its closing day and you suddenly find yourself full of anticipation, but you are still a little worried. After all, it isn’t what you had originally hoped for, and the house may need some repairs. But you are determined to accept it, and tackle everything one step at a time. You open the front door, and suddenly you are thrilled with what you see. The house is lovely, and has lots of character. The rooms are smaller but it’s decorated with beautiful attention and detail. The kitchen has marble instead of granite, and the bathroom has a soaker tub instead of a Jacuzzi. There isn’t a walk-in closet in sight, but the rooms all come with an indescribable view. Somehow, you just know that it was always meant to be and that this is now home.

This is my analogy of what it will be like for people who discover that they will be caring for a baby with Down syndrome. For us, it is not a terrible place to be, it is a journey full of surprises, milestones and discovery like any other child. And as the story suggests, sometimes it’s only a matter of ‘point of view’, and surprisingly, once you have been there, you don’t want to be anywhere else. The journey, like all others doesn’t come without some bumps in the road, but once you find your way, it’s all about the place you discovered, in most cases - quite by random chance
Author: Sandi Graham-McWade, Copyright
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Monday, June 27, 2011

My Journal - Week 96 (27Jun11)

What the next day brings....

Definitely different babies.  That's all I can say!  One of these good days I am sure I will look back and think to myself, I wonder why I ever thought that all my children would behave the same way or have very similar personalities.  Mr. Hunter and Miss Hayleigh are two worlds apart as far as personalities go.  Hunter was the most laid back little newborn.  Hayleigh is pretty strong willed and very demanding.  I laugh because it's like looking at John and myself.  John has always been laid back, and I have always been go go go (and on red alert).  It's not to say that Hunter isn't strong willed now, because he certainly is these days but way back when, he was so easy going!

Hunter.  Two steps forward, one step back.  When it seems that Hunter is getting a little comfortable with his emotions surrounding Hayleigh, we allow him more time directly with her.  When he tries to slap her or grab at her, we pull back the reins a bit.  Just today he decided to be sneaky, he hugged her, petted her head (ever so lovingly) petted her hand, only to lean in to put lips on her head and then try to take a bite while simultaneously grabbing her face with his left hand!  Thank goodness just last night I filed his nails....  Hayleigh made up her face (perhaps with complete displeasure) for just about one second then went back to her world of discovery and wonder.  Growing pains.  Completely expected, just tough to deal with.

In the meantime, since we were able to take a few shots yesterday (with a calmer Hunter) I have something to look at to remind me that sometime down the road, there will be calmer days ahead - or at least I hope so!

Here are the photos:

This is my new little sister, Hayleigh!

Ahhhh.  My mommy loves us both so much!

Humm, I wonder if she will bite my finger?

I wonder how long she's staying??

I guess it's going to be the four of us now!


It's okay mommy... I will try to help out - I'm just not ready yet!

Amazing.  Mommy still loves me no matter what!!  Mommy's know.

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