Welcome to Our House - The Analogy ©

Having a baby is special. For some, it’s a lifelong dream, for others, a wonderful surprise. Either way, many of us have thought about taking this journey and whether it’s planned or a pleasant surprise, we all have preconceived ideas about what our child will look and be like. But what if it isn’t what we planned or expected? This is a short story I have written for parents who have or are expecting an exceptionally special child.

Welcome to our House – An analogy

After many months of dreaming, you finally decide it’s time. You are going to build that perfect house of your dreams. You have saved and saved, and now it’s time to put your plan into action. You find a wonderful, perfect piece of land in the city. It’s exactly what you are looking for – because it’s the plan that everyone talks about. You envision the all brick house sitting on luscious green grass, surrounded by a white picket fence. Inside is a marble foyer leading into a family room with beautiful oak hardwood floors. Granite lines the kitchen counter tops and there is an island sink in the middle. Upstairs has four perfect bedrooms and the master bedroom has an ensuite bathroom and an enormous walk-in closet, of course. It’s truly a dream come true, and it’s only a matter of time. You purchase the land and think to yourself, in nine short months, you will have it all.

But suddenly your agent calls to tell you, the land is not properly zoned, and the city has not approved it for building your perfect home. They have instead, given you land in the country, where an old country home sits. You are absolutely devastated, your dreams vanishing right before your eyes. You know you can’t back out now, you need a place to live, and despite it not being what you wanted, you know that somehow you will manage and that you can continue on.

You tell everyone what has happened, and everyone is disappointed, some even offering their condolences. You know that everyone else has a nice city home, and that was what you had planned, but you have to come to terms with the fact that you must learn to live in the country.

You go to see the property every month until closing and something funny happens. You start to fall in love with the place. The air is fresh, it’s peaceful and serene. There’s a pond on the land, and the house, though not a new all brick home, is quaint, and has lots of hidden potential. You soon realize it’s not a awful place, it’s just a different place. It’s slower paced than the city, less noisy and flamboyant, but it’s beautiful none the less. And in the process, you soon realize you may even get to meet some new and wonderful neighbours.

Its closing day and you suddenly find yourself full of anticipation, but you are still a little worried. After all, it isn’t what you had originally hoped for, and the house may need some repairs. But you are determined to accept it, and tackle everything one step at a time. You open the front door, and suddenly you are thrilled with what you see. The house is lovely, and has lots of character. The rooms are smaller but it’s decorated with beautiful attention and detail. The kitchen has marble instead of granite, and the bathroom has a soaker tub instead of a Jacuzzi. There isn’t a walk-in closet in sight, but the rooms all come with an indescribable view. Somehow, you just know that it was always meant to be and that this is now home.

This is my analogy of what it will be like for people who discover that they will be caring for a baby with Down syndrome. For us, it is not a terrible place to be, it is a journey full of surprises, milestones and discovery like any other child. And as the story suggests, sometimes it’s only a matter of ‘point of view’, and surprisingly, once you have been there, you don’t want to be anywhere else. The journey, like all others doesn’t come without some bumps in the road, but once you find your way, it’s all about the place you discovered, in most cases - quite by random chance
Author: Sandi Graham-McWade, Copyright

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Sunday, September 19, 2010

My Journal - Week 57 (19Sep10)

Pain, Parties and Pictures??!

How to start this post.  It has been a long couple of weeks.  I haven't posted much because of a few things.  First, I discovered I had a painful fast growing lump called a Bartholin's cyst.  This is one of the most painful cysts I have ever had, and I would never wish it on my worst enemy.  From the Sunday coming home from Cayuga I had an intense bladder infection to the Monday where I discovered a small pea sized lump.  That was the 6th of September.  By Thursday I was in so much pain and what started as a pea sized lump ended up being larger then a hard boiled egg.  Needless to say, my doctor asked me to come in Friday to see him.  When I arrived (with Hunter and John in tow) my doctor re-examined me and subsequently made one phone call to the on call doctor at the hospital.  Next thing I knew I was shipped off to Scarborough Grace hospital to have the cyst removed surgically.  I did learn that my cyst was abscessed from my original bladder infection caused by routine bacteria called Escherichia coli or E.coli, normal bacteria that lives in everyone's intestinal tract.  Upon arrival at the hospital I was advised that I must have the cyst removed surgically under general anaesthesia.  The procedure is called a Marsupialization.  At around 10 pm, I was wheeled into the Operating Room and subsequently operated on to remove the mass.  About an hour later, I was wide awake - in a lot of pain but joking with the recovery nurse.  22mg of morphine later, (intravenously - where the usual dose is around 5 mg....) I was admitted to my hospital room to learn that I was supposed to remain in the hospital over night.  No can do!  I had a family party that was happening in less then 16 hours!  I spoke with the doctors and was advised that I could be released so long as my vitals were good, and I was not groggy.  (I am never groggy after surgery - for some reason I seem to have very high tolerances to opiates and anesthesia.)  At 3:00 am, John took me home.  A quick stop at McDonalds fixed me right up, since I had no food all day long. 

The party I mentioned that was to take place at 5:00 pm that same Saturday at my house.  The party was for my visiting cousin Richard and his wife Catherine.  They had arrived from England on the Wednesday evening prior.  The party was a big planned event since many of the family had not seen Richard or his wife before.  (Including me!)  Thankfully I got some rest and then I was up and at it.  I have to say, though the party was a huge success, it was definitely not what the doctor ordered.  I never sat down once - knowing that I could not do so comfortably.  Everyone wanted to see Hunter, and Hunter wanted to see everyone else - of course after his initial 10 minutes of acclimating.  The cutest thing I have to mention though is that the one thing that got Hunter acclimated was the arrival of the other babies!  As soon as his cousin Sophia and Alexander arrived, he stopped being teary eyed at seeing strange faces and immediately became his usual happy self.  When I took him over to Alex, he pointed at Alex and said "Baba?".  I was surprised!  I told him, "Yes!  That is a baba, Alex!"  In fact we were all surprised, including Alex's mom and his Nana!  Then I took him over to see Sophia, and he instantly had a conversation with her.  I have never heard him babble in such an affectionate tone toward another baby!  It was like they were off having their own conversation!  I wish I had my camera or video camera right at that moment.  It was amazing.  Now I knew that Hunter understood what a "baba" is, but I had never seen him (other then himself) appropriately use the term.  After seeing and hearing him do this, I now know he understands that it refers to all babies!  Not just himself!  It blows me away!

I took only a few pictures, (obviously not in the best condition to run around and take my many many photos) but a few of my cousins did take several photos of the babies - which I am patiently waiting to see.  In the interim, here are a few I did manage to take.

You want to see me Jump!  I will show you Jumping!
Daddy loves it when I jump for everyone!  I love it too!
You would never know just how much fun jumping could be until you saw me!
There are just no words to describe this!  I am a crazy bouncing growly baby!  Rarrr!
This is my Aunt Merlene and my cousins Dylan and Breanna!  We are having a blast!
I am showing them my pictures in the camera!  They can't believe I can pick myself out!
Mommy told me to kiss Breanna, so I did!  I think I look like a fishy!
As soon as I receive the photos from my cousins, I will definitely post them on the blog.  Thank you to everyone who has been so supportive and understanding during this crazy few weeks.  So much has been going on, and yet there is so much more to do.

1 comment:

  1. My son still amazes me with his comments and wisdom and he's 37..


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